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Experience moves through the self

I’ve been listening to the meditations from the Garrison Retreat, and in one, Rupert says that “the Self doesn’t move through experience, experience moves through the Self.”

I wanted to actually experience that. When I walk the dog for an hour every day, I usually try to do some kind of walking meditation. So as I’m walking Tera, I know my body is moving through space, through experience. If the Self is not moving through space, then the Self cannot be contained in the body; it has to be all around, everywhere.

I found it’s possible to find that reality: As the body and mind are moving through the world, I can sometimes experience that the Self is everywhere, and the body is just another object in space. Experience is changing all the time, but the Self is undisturbed, unchanging. Everything around, including my body, is made of consciousness. As I walk, I can sometimes experience my Self as and in everything. If I close my eyes and stand still, sensual experience disappears, for the most part, if the neighborhood is quiet. I can experience Awareness all around with either my eyes open or closed. If I walk with my eyes closed, then non-duality collapses: I’m worried about falling and can’t remain in that state of awareness.

I cannot usually view the physical world as an illusion, but I often see it as a tapestry of rich, intricate beauty.

It helps to view my mind as transparent: Thoughts occur in the mind, but they are not contained in the body. They are like other objects of experience.

When I return home, duality prevails again when I try to describe the experience to my wife. She says, “I hope you don’t get so spaced out that the dog gets run over or attacks someone.”

I’ve found I can keep the doors of perception cracked just a bit most of the day, and often in my dreaming state. And once in awhile, I can throw those doors wide open.


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